LeilaFadzleen's Random Ramblings |

When depression hits

November 27, 2011 by

I feel so depressed today… I don’t think I can endure this pain anymore. This pain is too strong. I have run out of people to trust and rely on. I have no one on my side, only myself. Even my family is not on my side. I feel so alone..and I don’t know how long can I stay wearing this mask, faking this smile…

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Hey you again

November 26, 2011 by

Hey you,

haaaa it’s not so easy to say goodbye after all. Maybe you were important after all. haih.. IHATECHOOO!

Me.

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Where did I go wrong?

by

Down with flu n sore throat. It’s 10 pm and I feel so drowsy already. Probably due to the flu meds that I ate…

How can someone very nice turn into someone so heartless??

I miss pulling my rod and pulling up a fish… I miss the feeling that I get when I realize I caught a fish…

Sometimes I think it would be easy if we have that gadget used in Men In Black. U know the one that can simply erase your memories just by flashing it to your eyes. Yea, I wish that I have that thing but I’ll create one that can erase a specific memory instead of all of them.

I think I watch too much of movies. Lol. I remember wanting to have the dagger from Prince of Persia-sand of time just so that I could turn back time.

I don’t understand why…and it hurts that no one wants to explain to me. Maybe I was wrong in the beginning after all…

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manusia

November 24, 2011 by

mmg lumrah manusia, bila jumpa yg lebih baru terus dilupakan yg lama.sigh

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Over

November 23, 2011 by

Hey you,

It’s over. U hurt me enough for me to say goodbye. Farewell.

Me

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Life sucks at the moment

November 22, 2011 by

I think life is such a funny thing. Funny,weird and sad. Especially when you go through such a wonderful phase of your life and someone can simply destroy it just by telling you that it was all a lie. All the happy things that you went through is fake. Don’t you just hate it? Then you need to go out again and seek happiness in your life. Although, you do know what could make feel happy but you’re just to stubborn to admit it , let alone do it. sigh. At this point of time I hate my life. Period! this is the cycle of my life where I am at the bottom of the wheel. No one sees me cry no one sees my pain. And this is the phase of my life where you will see me update this blog regularly.

It sucks to do this alone. But it has to be done alone coz no one knows what it’s like to be you.

I wish that I could go back to the time when life was all simple. I am a routine kind of person, so I hope that i could go back to my old routine. But i know that it won’t be that simple anymore. I want to start over but I have no idea where to start. it’s hard to make decisions when my decisions affects someone else’s life. someone who is innocent. So in the end I’m stuck in between.

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Dia telah pergi

November 21, 2011 by

I used to have a boyfriend, whom I think highly of. He was almost perfect in every way. But nothing good lasts long for me. He had to go away.. Somewhere I couldn’t go with him… He passed away at the age of 28… my age now. And when he left I listened to this song on and on.

Now I feel like I have lost a really good friend. Not that he died. But i might have died inside his heart. And I know there is nothing I can do to make things better.

Naff – Dia Telah Pergi

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November 19, 2011 by

I used to tell myself not to trust anyone but myself. But along the way I tend to forget that and here I am stumbled upon my own mistake and fell so hard on my face. it hurts so bad to realize that everybody that I have trusted betrayed me and that all the things that I used to believe in was fake.

I am hoping for a chance to start over. start everything all over. A new job, a new home, a new life, and make it all work this time around. No more intervention from outsiders. I’m sick of being told what to do, what to say, what to wear etc. Let it be me and my family only who decides what’s good for us.

Here are some photos to summarize the things that we have been doing these few months I have been hiatus